Category: Providence

A Tiny King

by Terri Sestina, posted in Providence, Uncategorized

Snuggles by light of the Christmas tree bring so many thoughts to mind. I reflect on Mary’s song and wonder about that miraculous night so long ago in a stable. How incredible to be the first to hold the Christ child, to warm him skin to skin; to behold majesty wrapped in cloth. I wonder what her mother heart felt as he grew. Did she worry about him getting enough milk as she nursed life into him? Did she pace the floor the night of his first sniffle? Did she rock him gently wishing time would stand still? Did worries of His future keep her up at night? How was it to stare into the face of God? I imagine her heart leaped as she gazed in to the tiny eyes of the King of the World! I envision his very breath easing every trouble of her weary soul. Pure delight. Breathtaking splendor.

Raising Light! ❤

My Secret Weapon

by Terri Sestina, posted in Providence

“Those days”.  You know the ones, when the world dumps down on you and everything that could go wrong does go wrong.  You start to spin in circles and feel overwhelmed by the pressures.  So many roles to play, so many responsibilities, and so many things not going the way you would like them to. It is in those moments, I have but one place to go; His presence.

There, before my God, I am no longer a mommy, a wife, a business owner or a daughter; except a daughter of the King.  Here, in my robe of white with my princess crown securely in place, I dance before my Lord and he holds me until all I feel is His love.

All else fades.

Every care of this world pales in comparison to the look of love upon His face.  Nothing else matters. Only this; I am His.

We have two choices when the circumstances of this life cause the earth we know to crumble beneath our feet.  We can either fall under the weight, entering in to that pit where the 4 D’s (distraction, deception, discouragement and defeat) wait to devour us completely or we can straighten our crown, realizing these circumstances are merely an opportunity for glory-strength to rise up within us.

Glory-strength is the strength outside of your own.  It comes solely from the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.  When you operate in spiritual strength, all things are possible because the outcome is no longer up to you.   Today, I choose glory-strength and I know I will only find it in His presence.  In the world, that means I have to do whatever it takes to get alone with God, even for just a moment.  As a mommy, that can mean getting creative.  It might mean sitting on the bathroom floor (aka my “sanctuary”), locking myself in the closet, sitting in my car in the driveway, taking a walk or any other means to find quiet.  Not that His presence isn’t with us in every moment, even in the chaos and noise but it’s in these quiet moments that we can lock onto that strength we need for the next crazy moments.  However you have to make it happen, I assure you those few precious presence-filled moments are worth it!  They are golden and stirred with happenings in the spiritual realm we can’t even fathom.

Glory-strength is the power to accomplish all things, greater things than you can imagine, through Him.  It is what Philippians 4:13 is talking about.  When you leave the sacred meeting place of His presence, you are changed.  Not only do you take up your secret weapon of glory-strength, you also become radiant. In Exodus 34, Moses spoke with God on Mount Sinai.  When Moses left that holy place his face shown and was radiant.  So much so, that he wore a veil over his face to speak again with the people.  When we meet God face to face in these sacred spaces, we too become radiant as His presence fills us.  That radiance is exactly what the world needs to see.  Others need to see your passion, your desire, your drive, your energy and your excitement!  They need to see you shine!  They don’t need to see one more person beaten down by circumstances.

Today, instead of opposition, choose opportunity.  Let Glory-strength prevail!

Hebrews 11:1, Exodus 34: 29-35, Philippians 4:13

Fail or Faith

by Terri Sestina, posted in Providence, Uncategorized

“You failed”.  It was the second time I heard that from the doctor’s office regarding the recent blood work.  Is there no better way to word it?  No, just “you failed”!  It has a way of ringing in your ears making you think there was something you should have done to succeed.  Every pregnant mama knows of the dreaded “glucose test”.  You go in, they take your blood, make you drink sugar garbage as fast as you can and check your blood again in an hour.  If you fail that one, as I did, you get to go back in for the 3-hour fun.  This time you sit and sit and sit after drinking the sugar garbage and have your blood taken every hour to see if you’re a really big failure or just a small failure.  I ended up with the double fail.  Yep… #totalmomfail

The disappointing factor is; I’m healthy.  Health is my business!  I eat well, I exercise, get plenty of rest, drink over a gallon of water a day and take supplements to fill in the gaps.  Taking care of my own health and helping other’s with theirs is what I do daily.  It’s how I make a living and it’s something I take pride in. But alas, “you failed” is what I heard.  Twice.

You know that moment of choice where you either decide to have a huge pity party, whine and cry and complain or take it to God and fix it?  Yes? Okay, well I chose the first path with this.  First, I complained about all the people I know who guzzled sodas, ate loads of candy and ice cream and never exercised their entire pregnancy but somehow never had any issues.  Then, I felt so bad for myself.  I listed a million ways this will impact my happy little schedule.  After all, who has time to check their blood sugar three times a day?!  And finally, after a day of wallowing, I took it to God.

I couldn’t figure out why I was getting so hung up on this.  Really, what’s the big deal?

The big deal is this.  In this world we live in our fragile human hearts want to believe that hard work equals success.  If we work hard at our job and make wise decisions with our money it will lead to prosperity.  If we take care of our bodies it will lead to a long healthy life.  If we take care of our children they will grow up to be perfect little people. However, news flash…it doesn’t always happen like that!  In fact, most of the time it doesn’t.  Businesses still fail. Retirement plans collapse. Children still disobey. Our health continues to fail.  Why?   Because we live in this world.  This world will never subscribe to a perfect formula because it will never be a perfect place. It is temporary but what is unseen is eternal.  Heaven is our eternal home and our only constant hope.

But God.  But God is one of my favorite reminders.  Those two words remind me even if the perfect formula is not present in this life, a perfect God is.  He dwells within us, walks among us and surrounds us in His love.  While worldly circumstances may never be perfect, His plan always is.  He works all things together for good.  In some crazy mysterious way, we weaves every up and down into a tapestry of love.  While we’ll never understand it in this life, we can be certain of its hope eternal.

With that, I’ll prick my finger, check my blood and continue to take care of this temple because God has a perfect plan for me.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18, Romans 8:28

Perspective

by Terri Sestina, posted in Providence

In 2013 I was tired of working my bum off and still coming up short on money at the end of the month.  I was tired of watching my friends make money and wondering if I could do it too.  And, as a new mommy and full time teacher, I was just TIRED.  I needed that natural stress relief and energy/detox stuff I was hearing about.  So I made a decision to at least TRY!  I will never forget the day I got online to enroll.  I kept getting error messages and I couldn’t get the order for my starter kit to go through. Just as the thoughts began flooding my mind, “what if this is a sign?”, “maybe I’m not supposed to do this!” my sweet friend and amazing enroller, Jacki, messaged me and said these words, “The devil must really not want you to do this since you’re having all this trouble” And there it was.  In an instant my perspective shifted and instead of letting the difficultly defeat me, it spurred me on.  One moment of buying the lie and letting what I could only see in that moment could have caused me to give up on what has fueled the biggest dreams of my life. The truth was God did want that order to go through.  He did intend this path for me.  Without it, I wouldn’t be writing, I wouldn’t be home with my babies, I wouldn’t be influencing an amazing team of dreamers and my husband and I wouldn’t be working towards creating a ministry center.   Do you understand the chain of events that can unfold from one single YES?!  One yes to what God is calling you to do creates a domino effect, a chain reaction toward the upward spiral of hope He has planned for you.   This tapestry will be seasoned with trials, no doubt, but as you persevere through each one His vision for your life will become clearer and clearer.  There have been many times I let the lies defeat me, many times I gave up on myself and my dreams, many times I walked away instead of walking through.  But that day, that moment; I chose hope.  I pray that when your defining moment comes, whether you realize it at the time or not, that you choose hope.  I pray you choose truth and I pray you choose to make your dreams come true!

1 Peter 5:8, 2 Corinthians 4:18

One Thing

by Terri Sestina, posted in Providence

It’s a preschool day for my son and my husband volunteered to do drop-off this morning.  I stepped out of the shower and into the rareness of a quiet house.   A brief sigh of relief was quickly ebbed by the thousands of “should-do” thoughts that came rushing into my mind.  As mothers, we have but few moments to ourselves so they must be used ever so wisely.  I should unpack those bags still sitting in the living room from our trip last week, I should start a load of laundry and definitely get those dishes done, I should turn on some music and clean (you know REALLY clean) this house, I should water the flowers and pull those weed, not to mention everything I should be doing for our business.  I’ve got messages to follow up with and notifications on social media blinking at me eagerly waiting to be opened, along with a list of phone calls to be made.  Then one tiny voice in my head whispers, “or write”.  Write; the one thing God has been so patiently and lovingly nudging me to do for the last few years and the one thing that always seems to come last.  We all have one thing; that one thing we love doing but it always takes a back seat to the many “have-to” moments in our day.  Maybe yours is reading or praying. Maybe it’s creating artwork or music.  Or maybe yours is just sitting quietly in His presence.  Whatever your one thing is, if you’re like me you don’t let yourself do it very often.  Why is it that the things that feed our spirit the most we all too often give the least amount of space in our lives?  Maybe life just gets busy, maybe we’re so busy pouring into others we neglect ourselves or maybe it goes even deeper.  Maybe we don’t even feel worthy of this precious time with our One Thing.

I so frequently find myself striving for perfection in every area of life that instead of excelling in one aspect, I feel like a failure in all areas.  I’m not sure how many roles you play in this world but most of us are juggling several hats.  Yours might be employee, student, daughter and friend.  Mine are wife, mother, daughter, friend and business owner.  Each one takes up a vast majority of time and when you add them all together, sometimes it feels overwhelming, especially when you’re trying to be “the best” at each one.  I blame social media and the Pinterest mom generation for this need to excel at our daily tasks.  What else are we to do? We’re constantly bombarded with images of the mom who just made her kid a snack of fruits and vegetables in the shape of a train (how in the world?!!), the crocheted blanket someone crafted up for a friend’s new baby (while you just grabbed a gift card last minute) and the beautiful spread of (yes, all organic) foods the wife loving prepared for her husband, while you realize it’s 5pm and haven’t a thing in mind to make.  Yes, I blame social media because that’s where we see this portray of perfection but that’s not really where the blame rests.  There is an enemy who would love to defeat us at every turn and if he can use a picture of a fruit and veggie train to do it, he will.  The problem isn’t everyone else and what they excel at, the problem is us.  The problem is me buying the lie that I’m supposed to be the best at everything I do.  What if we’re just supposed to shine in our One Thing?  What if the very thing you put off till last is the one thing you need to focus on the most?

So I’m writing.   Today, I choose my one thing.  I choose to quiet all the other voices pulling for my attention and focus solely where God is leading my heart.  The beauty of this life is that yours isn’t the same as mine.  Maybe you need to go focus on making baby blankets or cooking dinner because that is where God has called you.  Maybe pouring into your children or your husband is exactly where He wants you to be.  Or perhaps you are reading this on your lunch break and God has called you to invest in your career.  Then excel.  Do what it takes to make that your One Thing and be the very best at it, but don’t try to be the best at all the things.  Staying in your own lane and keeping your eyes on the path uniquely planned for you can be one of the most difficult challenges in this life.  Their grass may look greener but it will never feel as soft as what is planted beneath your own feet.  So I’ll do my one thing and you do yours and together we can create a beautiful garden.

Ephesians 2:10, 1 Peter 5:8, Proverbs 16:3, Proverbs 3:5-6, Luke 10:42

One Piece, One Peace

by Terri Sestina, posted in Providence, Uncategorized

puzzleOnce again, I came to that checkpoint in my day; the sacred “naptime” where every mom has a critical decision to make.  1-2 hours of uninterrupted time (if I’m lucky) and how to spend it?  There is always part of me that just wants to stop, drop and snooze.  Then the Susie Homemaker in me wants to make the house presentable (she never wins). The business woman side of me just wants to power through and get as much work as possible accomplished in that time.  That one usually wins.  After all, this business pays all our bills and allows us to help others along the way.  However, today my heart said, “write”.  I find it so difficult to let my heart win this one.  Writing these days feels like a luxury as I sit amid piles of laundry and dirty dishes with a to-do list a mile long running through my mind.  But alas, here I am.  I’ve realized that when I silence that one passion, this outlet, this need to for self-expression I not only feel distant from the One who created me to write, but everything else in my world suffers as well.  I become grouchy and irritable at the other duties I feel are pulling me from my heart’s desire.  That, my friends, is an ugly place to live and everyone in my house notices it.   You see, I could forge ahead, trudge on and strive to pave my path in this business while keeping all the other pieces of my life in place. Or I can stop, center myself, commit to this calling God has placed on my heart and allow Him to hold all the pieces as He weaves the path for me.  All the striving and pushing forward won’t amount to anything if I forsake the very desires God placed in my heart.  And whether I am good at it or not, He has placed a desire for writing in my heart.  When God places a call upon your life, just forget about being equipped, competent or superior in any way.  All He needs is for you to be obedient. So today, I choose obedience.  I choose to trust in what I cannot see and believe that he will bless all the other pieces I laid aside in order to pick this one up.  Above all, I choose Him.

Philippians 2:3

Sank You

by Terri Sestina, posted in Providence, Uncategorized

I have always believed we can learn so much by watching children. In fact, it is one of the reasons I became a teacher. I just never realized how great a lesson one could teach you, until today. Now that I work from home, my son only goes to child care a few days a week but we always make that drive time special. Each morning we pray and sing songs and each afternoon we talk about his day. Today was no different. We started out by thanking God for the sunshine and the great time we had on vacation this week. We remembered to pray for Grandmas and Grandpas, cousins and our dog and to thank Him for things like trucks and tractors. But my three-year old does something else each time we pray that today touched my heart in a distinct way. He thanks God for his biggest fears. This kid is fearless when it comes to heights, heavy equipment or airplanes but is terrified of the hand dryers in public restrooms, hates elevators and is not a fan of escalators or using the potty. About a month ago, I noticed he would thank God for these very things as he prayed. “And sank you God for elevators and escalators and hand dwyers and the potty”. At first I just thought it was really sweet, but as he prayed it today my eyes filled with tears and God spoke to me in a very real way. Thanking God for our current circumstances creates a cord of hope that connects us to His ultimate desires for us. Sometimes God changes our situation and other times he offers the strength to endure it. Either way, our current struggles have been lovingly planned by a Father who will never let us bend so far we break. I spent years going back and forth in this constant struggle of viewing every problem as an attack or at the very least an obstacle. Life became me versus the world and at times even felt like God versus me. There were times I even began to look at problems as punishment. When my son was born, anxiety issues I had dealt with my whole life were suddenly magnified and on many days I found it hard to breathe. I knew God was big enough to take that feeling away and my prayer was that he would, in an instant. I kept praying and waiting for the magical moment when God would just say “storm be still” and all that was raging within me would be no more. That was not the way he chose to deliver me. From that dark and frightening place, God chose to draw me near to his side; to come to know him in a new and more personal way. He became my very breath, my strength to rise and my song. The cord of hope was extended and the journey to the me he created me to be began. My struggle did not end in an instant and my circumstances were not suddenly changed; I was. I began looking at things differently and learning from the trials in my life. As my perspective changed, my situation changed. Years later, I can look back on times of trial and realize God was doing something there. For some situations, I still have no answers but I trust in the One who does. As my son thanked God for his four biggest problems in life, I began thanking God for mine. I started visualizing what blessings might be born from brokenness and started speaking those blessings out loud. I thanked Him for the things that irritate me and the things I still wish I could change about myself. That act opened the door for God to begin working in those areas. The cord of hope grew. What if one day, I looked at everything as one more love knot in the tapestry God is weaving in my life? This journey to our ultimate home in eternity could be so much more vibrant if we only let love win. If we learned to be grateful for our faults, fears and failures and let God use them for his glory what an impact we could make with our time here on earth. This one step, this one lesson from a three year old will be my starting point. “Sank you God…”

Seasons

by Terri Sestina, posted in Providence, Uncategorized

The garden of life brings seasons.  The spring with its tender newness, the summer with its delight, the autumn with its bountiful harvest, and the cold dark winter all have their place and time.  For some, the winter is long and it trudges on past spring invading the summer and robbing the autumn fields of its splendor.  For some, the winter never seems to end. It becomes one tragedy after another, just living from storm to storm and trying to hang on to the sliver of hope that spring is just around the corner.  Spring is, after all, just around the corner. It just may be the longest curviest corner in history!

I’ve been there; the feeling of eternal winter.  I’ve walked in those cold shoes, wishing I would have had warmer boots to trudge along in, something a little sturdier to keep me from slipping under the massive load I was baring. I write this though from the summer.  So I did make it through, though not alone.  God was there as I walked through the harsh cold winter air to now bask in the warm sunbeams of summer.  My winter may have paled in comparison to yours. It may have looked like a walk in the park compared to the disaster you face today.  But we aren’t here to compare winters.  Someone will always have a better and someone will always have it worse.  The grass is truly only greener where you water it.

So water your grass in the winter. Water that grass that is buried under the muck and mire of dirty snow and ice.  Water it by seeing the beauty that is born from adversity.  Water it with hope.  Water it with love.  Water it with tears.  Water it with the faith that one day, the snow will fade.  The fresh shoots will spring forth and the winter will be no more.  Water it with vision.  God’s Word tells us without vision we parish.  Set your mind then not on what is seen but what is unseen.  Fix your eyes on what is eternal.  This cold winter will not last, so set your mind on what will last.  Though the snow may be deep and the darkness thick, watch for the light.  Fix your eyes on He who never changes. The seasons, they shift.  This life brings constant change, therefor we must look to the one who stays the same.  Our One Constant in any season is up to something.  He is working your winter for His glory and when the spring does come, oh what mighty growth will cover the land!  You will be changed yes, for the better.  For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then we shall fully know.

Life here on earth will always bring us winters but we hold fast because we look for an eternal life without season, where He will wipe every tear from our eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things will pass away.  The old order, the old seasons will pass.  Our One constant remains.  Water your grass in each season.  Water your grass in faith and know that even if you must walk through the winter, you never walk alone.

Proverbs 29:18, Colossians 3:2, 2 Corinthians 4:18, 1 Corinthians 13:12, Revelation 21:4, Deuteronomy 31:6

Pruning Possibility

by Terri Sestina, posted in Providence, Uncategorized

I went for a run (okay, a walk/jog) this morning at my favorite little walking trail.  It was cool but one of those perfectly crisp late fall mornings.  As I rounded the last turn, panting because I had upped my jog just slightly, I noticed a worker pruning away all the dried dead flowers in the butterfly garden.  The butterfly garden is the most beautiful place of the trail.  It’s a small serene sitting area surrounded by flowers and trees that attract hundreds of butterflies in vast variety.  But today, it was desolate. As the worker clipped and snapped, he formed massive piles of stems, leaves and dried petals.  He carefully snipped each one until the garden was barren.

It was a somber sight, the impending winter looming in the chill of the morning air.  I love this garden.  It’s where I have summer picnics with my son and sunny day chats with my best friends.  Yet today it was vacant and void.  For a moment I had that empty feeling.  The one you got as a kid on the last day of summer break; that feeling of loss that comes at the end of a season.

Then I remembered.  In order for the spring to come, the winter must stake its claim.  In order for new growth to occur, the pruning must take place.  Plants must be pruned for a season, in order to return more healthy and vibrant.  This garden will flourish again in the right season, at the right time.  Yet, if not properly cared for, it would cease to thrive.

Oh but if we could remember this truth in our days of pruning!  As God shapes and molds us, cuts back and snips away at the dead places within us it is painful.  Yes painful but, “no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

After all, as I’ve heard it said before, the meantime is called the “mean time” for a reason.  Life comes in seasons and though the winter can be long and cold and at times seem unending, the spring is coming.  It is coming.

Let us look forward to the spring but remember the winter has its place for a purpose.  If rooted well, a plant survives the winter, coming back stronger and heartier in the spring.  My mom always said about planting Hosta, “the first year they sleep, the second year they creep, the third year they leap”.  If properly cared for and rooted in good soil, given the necessary protection, these plants will grow in great abundance.

We, if rooted in good soil, will survive even the harshest winter to come forth blooming in great abundance in the spring!

Hebrews 12:11, Ecclesiastes 3:1

Heart’s Desire

by Terri Sestina, posted in Providence, Uncategorized

Sometimes it is easier to pour out my fears, weaknesses, sins and shortcomings to the Lord than it is to place my hopes and dreams in His hands.  It is easier to believe God forgives, heals and rescues than it is to believe he blesses, accomplishes and favors.

It is hard to believe these desires of my heart will come to fruition.  After all, what have I done to deserve them?  Yet His words says, “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”  This passage isn’t directing us to dream up any want we can think of and expect the Lord to grant it like a genie in a bottle.  What it is saying is the Lord actually places His desires for you within your heart.  When your eyes are fixed on Him and you are walking this life journey with Him, you will begin to desire the things that are pleasing to the Lord.  And because you desire the things that please Him, he will surely bring them to pass.

What are the deepest longings of your heart?  What is your heart cry?  What do you desire above all else?  Sometimes these deep desires are difficult to even put into words.  Maybe it is for a loved one to know the Lord, a child to find grace, or to find that special one to share your life with.  Perhaps it is a goal, a vision for ministry or a dream for your family.  Whatever it is, give it to God. If he gave you the desire, give the outcome of it back to Him and allow him to work it out to completion in your life.

How do we know if the desire we have is from the Lord?  Does it bless him?  Honor him? Bring life, hope and joy to others? If it is something other than for selfish gain, it is likely from the Lord. After all, He created you.  He gave you your talents, gifts, likes and dislikes. He gave you a unique personality that would long after the path he planned for your life.  Think back to when you were a child, innocent and uninfluenced by the world.  What did you want to be?  What brought you the most joy?  So many times, those desires get washed away by the harsh reality of the world we live in. This broken land robs joy and steals dreams.  It tells us we’re unworthy, unlikely, and undesirable.  But God says we are chosen, holy and dearly loved.

God says he will carry out his plans in our lives. We only must believe God has the power to do what he has promised.  When God promised Abraham he would be the father of many nations, Abraham had a choice to make; trust God’s word or believe what was his current reality.  He chose not to consider his own weaknesses; “his own body, already dead or the deadness of Sarah’s womb”, rather he chose to be strengthened in his faith.  “He did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.”  That is why “it was credited to him as righteousness.”

Abraham chose not to look at the obvious; his old body, his old ways, his current circumstances.  He chose to look to the One who made the promise and was able to accomplish anything.  The deep beauty of Abraham’s example is grace.  Abraham did not work for God’s blessing.  He didn’t earn merit badges by being a good church member or going door to door.  He was highly favored because he believed God.  For “to him who works, the wages are not counted as grace but as debt”.  “Therefore it is of faith that it might be according to grace.”

Let us look then at the desires God has placed in our hearts and look only unto Him as the one able to accomplish them through us.  For we know that “hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given us”.

Psalm 37:4, Philippians 1:6,  Colossians 3:12, Romans 4:20-22, Genesis 17:5, Romans 4:4, Romans 4:16, Romans 5:5